Give Me Five.... Im Still Alive

Yes BamBam I'm still alive and A OK. I missed the Winter Blogger gathering but am enjoying reading the trip reports. I'm heading out the door in a few to play my live league where I slipped to third place on an early exit.. Make that Hellmuthian exit and a MiamiDon tirade. IG was not Ms Congeniality last week. IG was kick over the table pissed off. Snake even mentioned I was on bad behavior.

First I get seated with Stormin Norman who Ive griped about before. I actually don't really mind playing Norm now that I'm used to him and he has actually grown on me. I loathed him at first and found his attention annoying. Hes actually an okay old guy compared to a few other cretins who show up once in a full moon. I was also rewarded with a player I will call Donkey Dave. Not only did Dave hold up the game chewing on pizza (piece after piece after piece) and not paying attention the action in front of me. He got up when it was his turn to deal. After he stuffed his face with pizza he asked if he could go smoke. Zoe said you should wait till the deal passes you. Nope he gets up on his BB. I had the deal and I insta folded him with a bellow of "I'm not fawking around, I'm running this hand" Josh muttered "I hope he doesn't come back!!" and I ditto'd it. Yes he was a noob but, I repeatedly had to say you can raise, fold or call. We had to tell him what the blinds were, what the chip demonination was (even though its on the chips) and then he commmitted the ultimate of sins. He string raised with "I see your $200 and I raise you.....$XXXX". At that point Linda Blair in the Exorcist emerged and my head rotated three times as I hissed.... "that's a string bet you can't call the bet and then reach back for more chips". Karen who was involved in the hand thanked me for saving her $$$. I don't think anyone else had the cajones to say it at my table.

Mind you all this went down after Snake5970 had read over some of our league rules as a reminder before the nights action began. There had been flagrant violations of One player to a hand. People were inducing others to make calls..... "You have to call based on pot odds". If your too fucking clueless to figure that out yourself you shouldn't be helped by someone else at the table. "Ill check it down if you do" when someone was all in and there was multi way action. We all know implicit collusion goes on when a shortie is all in you just cant state it at the table.

Anyway... Blinds at $75/$150... Two limpers. I raise to $800 with QQ. And get the big stack Juddy (any pair or paint looks good) and Donkey Dave with a statement of its only chips right? Right then I knew this was going to be bad. Flop came all babies with two spades. I push in my last $2000 and Dave calls with K9spades. Of course the King hits and I explode. I grab my stuff and fly over to Snake's table where Steve who inflicted a bad beat on me two weeks prior asks me what had happened and I roar... "I just got stacked by a fucking Noob Donkey and dont want to talk about it." Yes the man was about ten feet away but I could have cared less.

I bid a hasty retreat and came home and fired up the donkament and a Bounty SNG. Snake rang me up after his exit and some time spent donking it up at the cash game and asked if I was okay to be playing after what had happened. For some reason he was able to calm me down and get my mind off what had transpired a few hours prior. When I donked off my huge stack in the donkament shortly after the break I could have cared less.

Forget the Fedora, the IPOD, the low cut blouse, Im a gal on a mission tonite.

And if you havent read it yet head over to MiamiDon's blog and read his recent post titled: The Slumpbuster.