I'm extremely proud of myself. I just had my 4th live cash in a row, this time a 2nd place finish padding my live bankroll again. (I still havent found the $80 I lost from my winning a few weeks ago). I only knew one player there, my friend Jim who has played up in Fort Edward (though not in the league) and who I have played at home games at the Amadon's. There was one other female there who finished 4th out of 11 and a lot of aggressive young guys.
I played fairly tight early on (which was easy considering the cards I got) trying to get a read on my opponents. I wore no make up, I didnt wear my contacts and I had my fleece zipped up to my neck (no Tilly top). My hair was pulled up in what little bit of a pony tail I can still muster and I wore a Poker stars baseball cap. My hair is fairly thin and limp in this winter weather and I'm actaully considering extensions. I looked like hell and mentally I havent been 100%.
I was a dog going heads up.... I drew even only to get knocked back. I drew even again on a a well played hand I was behind on the flop with top pair but a weak kicker and a flush draw. I hit my flush on the turn and value betted the hell out of the hand. I then lost a chunk when my 104 on a board of 10 Q X got rivered by an ace. I finally pushed in with A6 got called by A8 and I go home in 2nd for a profit of $55 on my $25 buyin ($5 to the league). I made some pretty good reads and a good laydown. I know because I called out his hand when I mucked and he showed.
As much as I wanted the win, I was happy with second. Poker has been a chore of late and mentally I'm just not as sharp as you need to be to play your best. I was able to hold it together but I had no enjoyment even being around other people. It felt like a job. I'm grinding and building on my bankroll but Im taking no pleasure in my recent successes they feel like hollow victories. There is a saying.. This too shall pass.....
And now Back to the Professor, the Banker and the Suicide King. Its a good read so far and Im just amazed at the the fact that Ted Forrest and Huck Seed both ran a marathon for some wacky prop bet on the UNLV track on one of the hottest days of the year. I had heard the story before of course, but Michael Craig expounds on it in the book. That is no easy feat. I know I trained my ass off to run the one marathon I completed. Imagine doing one on no training???!!!
I'm trying to remember that all good poker players have gone bust at some point and Im far from busted. I just dont like the recent cards Ive been dealt with the DOJ holding my Neteller funds hostage, the winter weather here in the Northeast, and the fact that someone I'm close to is probably heading back into a totally negative EV situation again. I was once told I don't have to like something to accept it. I have a bunch of things I don't like going on right now. I've pretty much held my tongue on this one little life issue because it is really none of my business and there are some paths that people have to take on their own. I will always remember that insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results and outcomes. Unfortunately, people have to find out this out for themselves sometimes more then just once. Its no wonder we are a Prozac nation.