Saturday, September 09, 2006

Aces Cracked Season II Opener (Prologue)

Mookie gave me the idea of live blogging the Aces Cracked Season Opener which is tonite on pokerstars at 8 PM EST. Since the chat is usually far more interesting then the hands Lee Jones deals to me, I figured I can work on my note-taking skills while I hit fold. Besides do you think IG will let her guys be all Gay for a Day? Of course not. Throw a female into the mix and watch these men start marking territory while they try to impress her with their poker skills. I've seen it all guys and I'll just let you fish fry yourselves.

A little bit of info on some of the colorful characters follows. Some of the details were provided by the players themselves and others I may have embellished upon. Names will not be changed to protect the innocent just because!!!

Mark Greb-Season I champ. Of course he had it easy since I didnt play. He should be afraid very afraid. This Straight from the horses mouth:

"Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual." (okie dokie Mark, My little pony perhaps??)

Favorite Book: Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopie Pants-sure its written for Kindergarteners but Mark has never seemed to advance beyond Freud's stage of anal fixation. Think I need to send him over to Hench and Bluu on Poker Analysis as a Primo candidate for membership in Team Anal.

His poker philosophy:

"There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the cards"

My New Mantra: See the Cards Be the Cards

His lame poker blog can be found at LowStakesOnlinePoker

Taxidermist(aka RK92559)

In his words:

When I am not messing with dead stuff, I am a master electrician, refrigeration guy, and poker degenerate. . (Women love guys that are good with their hands and good around the house). Extreme rugged good looks (so he says, Im getting a visual of Grizzly Adams right now).

Struggles at times with bouts of retardation....(Proud rider of a short bus I see)

Taxidermist was willing to post a pic:...... the clean one...the other??..."well..I was young, and needed the money for school." (Yeah and so did David Williams, you'll have to do better then that excuse)


A Cryptical Name wasnt too forth-coming on personal details other then inking his Johnson. This is how Ashmc2 rolls:

I usually just sit back in my Lazy-boy, which is positioned conveniently, smack-dab in front of my computer-stand. (Yes, I know, I like hyphens too much.) I write notes in my notebook like; Penn's the biggest runner-runner hittin' luckbox I ever have been fortune enough to meet, I think I shall deem him Rail Road or RR for short, rk calls with shit, rk raises with shit, rk calls and raises with shit and then blames Lee or the RNG, and the always endearing, Greb you are full of shit, you know you don't have shit so stop min-raisin' you bastard, Greb you lucky, lucky fag, I can't believe you hit that junk. This is about the time I scribble all over my notes, break my pen, and go wash the ink off myself. (And don't ask how I got got ink on my Johnson, because I don't remember, I just remember it felt good.)

IG must ask the question about Mark hitting his Junk. Ashmc2 are we talking about cards here or The Junk in Mark Grebs pants? And if the later how do you know? Inquiring minds want to know.


Our Fearless leader from across the pond (thats England for you geographically challenged short bus riders). Thinks we have enough juicy info on him and wasn't too forthcoming. He can predict the future however. His predictions on tonites chat:

At some point we will all have a go at mark for sucking out on a big one with rags

we'll also berate him for his inane min raises

Mark will discuss his plans for making pudding

Taxidermist will type 'online video game' whilst referring to the big hand that Mark sucks out on

ashmc will sit n play tight and then pull a big bluff when he thinks no one is looking

rk will ask, where's plj1?

some panhandler will ask for 10 cents

There you have it. Prop bet anyone?


Forum dippy hippie. Dragged me over to Aces Cracked under the premises of improving his Omaha. He then proceeded to give me a bitch slapping in a three-way with our buddy GMROZ. Bruce and I probably met years ago at some Dead show and havent figured it out yet. Unfortunately he is from the wrong side of the BIG TWELVE tracks in the state of Misery. I can forgive a fellow hippie for that. Its all about Peace love and understanding right Bud? Sham a lama ding dong is off to celebrate his moms birthday tonite and is going to the Races. Negative EV horse-racing is Dude. I will go easy on him tonite.

Other possible players:

Hench18- Bruce and I got Hench to come over from Poker Analysis. He is the team Anal Captain of PA. I have an idea he only joined because he thought the Forum name was AssesCracked not AcesCracked. A solid player if he shows.

JBaldwin- Another friend of mine, and owner of Absolutely Freerolls as well as another Poker Analysis member. He may be called to diaper duty tonite. No not Mark Greb's. He and his wife have a recent addition to their family.

and let us not forget our Heroine


As comfortable in Prada or Manolo Blaniks (though she might just fall off and out of the high heels) as she is space-dancing in Tye-dye. This gal can do it all: She make's a mean Shrimp Scampi, is a good gardener (had some practice back in the day with weeds that cultivated her green thumb), Has completed a marathon (that's 26.2 miles), and triathlons (swim bike and run all in the same day)!!. Doesnt really look her age because of Chemical Preservatives largely taken when on Dead Tour in the Eighties. She is not only good with numbers ( an accountant by training), she can Dance too. Definitely knows how to use both sides of her brain. Little Known fact for you poker players. IG was President of one of the Largest running clubs in the country: the Hudson Mohawk Road Runners and directed the clubs showcase fall marathon for 5 years: The Mohawk Hudson River Marathon. A perfect Amazing Race teammate and a cheap date.

-----To be continued-----


ashmc2 said...

Sounds great. Ur writing skills tickle my fancy. Well done.

Save urself a little trouble on the live blog and get to the conclusion - Ash wins, Ash wins.

And no I've never even thought of Greb's junk funny girl.


ashmc2 said...

Oh yea, almost forgot, BRING IT!