Friday, July 06, 2007

Eyes Wide Shut

My pupils are dilated to the size of saucers. Fun times. I actually feel like I'm on an LSD trip without the drugs. I'm sitting in the dark with my sunglasses on. Even with my eyes closed and behind sunglasses the flashes I'm getting from the ceiling fan as it revolves around and catches the sun coming in from the skylight in my condo is making me queasy. Now its about to thunderstorm again so at least the sky has darkened.

I've worn glasses since second grade but I still get that self-conscious feeling that Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses. Imagine my agita when my right contact lens popped out of my eye and eventually tore while playing poker at Caesars palace on day II of my trip. I did the old glasses on glasses off, Sunglasses on Sunglasses off rotation. I made sure no pictures were snapped of me 4-eyed and evasive measures were taken to prevent a double chin. Breathe in, stick chin out and up and Smile Pretty. Did anyone notice???. I bet not you were too busy looking at my cleavage like Waffles!!

So I headed to the optician with my trusty debit card locked and loaded from my Health care Savings account. Last year I knew I was borderline for ahem.. Bifocals. This year I bit the bullet. New Varulex lenses for my regular glasses, A pair of FENDI prescription sunglasses (selected over the Coach and Kate Spade Frames) with the same lenses and new Toric lenses for astigmatism to be demo'd. I dropped a Venetian Deep Stack Buy-in on all the above without playing a hand of poker.

I got home to a message from Snake.. "Hey girl, no real poker success to report but I had an interesting time last nite and I wish you were here to blog it" We finally caught up after he busted out of his second attempt at the Venetian Deep Stack tourney. Last nite he waddled (his words) into the ANTE-UP for Africa tourney over at the Rio Amazon Room after gorging himself at the GOLD COAST's Seafood Buffet. Now, I'm usually Ms Congeniality when I play but surprise surprise I can be pretty mouthy and I will admit to being catty at times. Let's just say Snake can be shall we say very opinionated and has no problem speaking his mind.

Now Snake has a way of telling a story and I soon forgot that I was blind as a bat and I forgot that a few minutes prior I wanted to hurl. First he railed on about the "costume" Annie Duke had on, then he mentioned the anorexic bimbo wife of some "pro" with fake tits that probably cost 15k but were to big for her cadaverous frame. She was sprawled out across some table. He said, "Yeah I had the people around me in hysterics, but they were afraid I was gonna be heard." And he told them "I don't care, I'm opinionated and I speak my mind". And I laughed and said jokingly "Oh great,first Fuel55 almost gets thrown out of the Bellagio, and now I have to worry about you getting thrown out of the Amazon room during a charity event." Now the funny thing about the Fuel55 thing was that Snake heard about Fuel's brouhaha at Bellagio over at Caesar's palace the day after it happened from people at his table. He just didn't know it was Fuel (who he's never met but "knows of' from the blogosphere)

Snake mentioned he would love to read Pauly's take on the whole Hollyweird circus that enveloped the Amazon room last nite. He said the organizers were running around trying to get the people who cashed to donate all their winnings rather then just the 50% they were required to pony up (on top of the 5k buy-in). I mentioned that Change100 had spent her post college years in the industry before giving it up and she could probably write a great article but that from the Tao of Poker, Pauly and Change100 bypassed the evening and high-tailed it elsewhere. And when he mentioned he wanted to do a fashion article on what he witnessed last nite, I almost fell out of my chair.

IG: You who spent 25 years watching men in prison jumpsuits are going to write a fashion expose? That is friggin hilarious.

Snake5970: I could write a book about all I saw last nite.

IG: Marcel Luske is a nice dresser, but I think Robert Williamson III is the sharpest dressed man in Poker, he has style. Uses color well. I don't care if Johnny Chan's shirts are Versace and cost $1k a pop they are too busy.

Snake5970: Yes, Robert Williamson is a classy dresser. Chan was in a T-shirt last nite pimping some energy drink. These guys will pimp anything. I think I'm going to jump into that CEO poker tour tourney here.

IG: You don't have to be a CEO to play?

Snake5970: No they just call it that to get the businessmen in town to play. Its getting pretty good turnouts.

IG: Well you could always call your business RP Realty and Incorporate yourself.

Snake5970: One man corporation lol

IG: Oh I won a sng last nite (the only thing I played last nite)... I'm hot on Sharkscope!!!

Snake5970: Alright you hottie go win some more.

I hung up from our phone call knowing that I have all natural 36D's or 38C's depending on the day. And that I can dress better then Annie Duke and probably smell better then her too even if I do have an extra couple pounds on my curvy frame. And I can see again!!! Time to shuffle up and Deal.

Post Script- Snake had Dutch Boyd at his table at Caesar's the other nite. Today in the Venetian Deep Stacker, he had Daniel Negreanu's "buddy" the gas guy from Florida who featured on ESPN last year at his table along with a two time Borgata Poker Open Champion who was wearing his bling.

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