This is my life

Right now I hate everyone and everything, its called PMSing. I knew it last nite when I waved my finger from across the table at Ray. He had just raised my BB for the second time in a row in two orbits and said "I wouldn't do that if I were you". So, even though I was supposed to go in to work overtime which is +EV, I decided that being around people and having to sit still doing a monotonous project was just not going to be productive.

Now, going to the gym and putting my body thru some yoga, booty and ballet would be the smart thing to do. Get those endorphin juices flowing and get the bitch on wheels out. Shopping is also a great outlet when I feel like this but of course that means venturing out on Black Saturday and having to mingle with people. I might just pull something out of someone's hand. On-Line shopping is a definite possibility but isnt the same as holding a pair of shoes or a purse in your hand. Poker is a definite no no right now. Then there is the creative thought processses involved in writing. So here I sit.

A few posts ago, I mentioned I didnt want to be the Suzy Kolber of poker. I wanted to be the Carrie Bradshaw of poker. Sex in the City was one of my favorite shows. I like Carrie, am completely capable of getting all pulled together only to get a heel caught in my dress or a grate and winding up in a heap on the floor. Heck I got my foot caught in my yoga pants the other day and nearly took a header.

Anyhow, I remembered this little quiz I took during the day and here are the results:

You scored 70% Carrie

Your answers peg you as a Carrie-type, much influenced by the Air Sign qualities associated with Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Like confident Carrie, a sex columnist, you're curious and perceptive, always seeking answers and never satisfied with the superficial. An Air Sign influence can lead to indecision and an avoidance of tough issues, like with Carrie and her on-again, off-again attachment to Mr. Big. Forward-thinking, incredibly intelligent and witty, you just exude quirky charm. You'd be utterly bored by someone who's just a pretty face or hot body -- though you don't mind looking and flirting! You're more turned on by an equally smart and funny mate, someone who challenges your mind and makes you laugh. You love to talk, so you need a good listener who's open to playful and eccentric ideas about love and lovemaking.


You scored 20% Miranda

You chose many of the same answers that Earth Sign-like Miranda, the cynical but pragmatic lawyer, might have chosen. Just like Miranda's had a tough time deciding whether to give in to the affections of Steve the Bartender, you don't give your heart up to just anyone.

You scored 10% Samantha

You identify with Samantha's bold and liberated Fire Sign qualities, characteristics associated with the Signs of Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. You're strong, audacious and larger than life -- and you take what you want! Sometimes you can even be thoughtless and selfish, as you get so caught up in craving immediate gratification and excitement that you overlook someone's feelings. Your personal style likely reflects your desires: sleek, low-cut, revealing just a bit more than might be considered acceptable. Watch that you're not coming on too strong, though. You could scare potential suitors off with all your drama. Show less skin or cleavage and more of your creativity, your vibrant leadership skills and courageous generosity!


You scored 0% Charlotte

Here is a snippet of a Thanksgiving day conversation.

Judy: How is your Dad, IG?

IG: Good but the same Judy.

Judy: Did he ever split from what's her name

IG: Nope and the stepmonster is not doing well from what he just told me. (undergoing chemo again)

So, I have to explain myself to Craig and his wife Susan and Roger and this comes out of my mouth:

IG: My stepmonster is an alcoholic, she left my dad for the Village Idiot. She survived Ovarian Cancer 20 years ago only to have a reoccurence of Colon cancer last year and it appears to be on the move to her lungs

Now everyone is interested in this dysfunctional family story.

IG: Dad is about 15 years older then Stepmonster, the village idiot is between my sister and I. He went to the special school (the alternate school which isn't the same as BOCES). He rode the short bus.

Now, my mom nearly spits her stuffing across the table in pregnant Susan's direction. Although she knew what I meant by special school, she wasnt familiar with the use of the phrase: short bus.

Later on while watching clips and photos of Judy and Jerry's trip thru Yellowstone, they pause on shots of the "Begging Burros". Literally the burro's stop cars and beg for handouts. I quip " I guess they aren't a bunch of dumb-asses now are they?" When I looked at the burros/donkeys I imagined the faces of some of the people I play cards against super-imposed.

I never bought into PMS until I had a complete meltdown at work a few years back. Someone asked me for help when I myself was overloaded,and I nearly took their head off. I had been off the pill for a bunch of years but a few days out of every month I was turning into Regan in the Exorcist. So, off to my OB/GYN. I opted to go back on the pill and although it does take care of my horrific periods, I still have a few days of insanity and brain fog now. Being peri-menopausal doesnt help either. I'll be all good tomorrow.